Practicing the Rule of Life

A spot of relaxation? How about the garden of olives...! Except that the disciples are all asleep! A moment of communion? The last supper...! Of course, but treason is in the air! Does that mean that moments of fraternity with Christ are never perfect?
The fraternal filter doesn’t exist. You can’t rely on magic, it must be on personal efforts, patience, little conversions - one’s own and those of our brothers - that will help us to create and to know the joy of the brotherhood.

In days gone by when I was an active member of the JUBE group (a lay group of young Betharramites) founded in Barracas (Buenos Aires) we had a chat one day on “friendship and fraternity”. Afterwards we were asked to choose a bible text which could illustrate something of ourselves. I chose this verse: “Be joyful with those who are rejoicing; weep with those who are weeping” (Romans 12, 15). It was a time when I had many friends (most of whom are still there). But I had also lost some dear friends and had come to know both tears and pain. Since this verse was speaking to me, I chose it. Someone said that I had chosen it because I was a jolly person and that this disposition had something in common with the Gospel. I have never forgotten it and have done my best to be faithful to it.

Today I am happy to have the friendship of joyful people who look on me as a quiet type. Yet I must admit that in my heart lies a little child who can rejoice at the “clowns and artists of life”. In any case that is how I have endured the joyful moments during meetings, around the camp fires, during community excursions: I have not gone short of times for laughing and enjoying myself!

But I have also learned that people have another attitude, demanding silence, attention, and respect. I thank God for letting me be witness of the healing tears of many religious and laity which have given way to the consolation of the Holy Spirit. Sometimes during the personal chat wounds, frustrations, traumatisms, mistaken paths on which we have been travelling without knowing why, have made their appearances. But these misfortunes are still there and continue to hurt or cause hurt to others.

In theology someone said to me: “You used to be such a joyful young man, but now...” At first this remark caught me unawares. Something in me had changed at least as far as others could see. I was giving off the image of an individual who was very serious. I was hiding something of myself in the mistaken idea that certain aspects of my personality had to die with the “old man” there present. (cf. Eph. 4). Happily we meet prophets who help us to save ourselves. For me such prophets were my formators, my brothers and a few well qualified lay persons.

Article 101
So that our community life is real and bears witness,
all members of the community must feel themselves responsible for the climate of brotherly charity, necessary for the harmony and the development of each religious member.
The community is a place of communion…
“…where relations are less formal and where welcome and understanding are fostered. One discovers there equally, the divine and human value of the fact of being together freely, as were the disciples around Christ, their Master, in friendship, and in sharing times of relaxation and leisure.

Article 104
Our common vocation, respect for one another, and mutual trust will help to overcome the difficulties inherent in any life together. The process of forgiveness, words and gestures of reconciliation, build up brotherhood. Each puts at the service of all his gifts and his talents received from God.

Yes, the community contributes greatly to the psychological balance of the individual as well as the spiritual balance of religious life. To be cured helps to keep us smiling, feel like working and strengthens our vocation to a certain extent.

I would now like to quote four sentences from some of the “heroes of my life” but who are no longer with us. The example of their consecrated life and their words full of wisdom have left a mark on me.
- “My boy, to say thank you very much means more than simply to say thank you.” (Fr Juan Cravioti scj)
- “Those who are outstanding while still remaining hidden go much further in life than those who are always in the limelight” ( Fr Barriuso scj)
- “In the Congregation anyone who wants to be poor is definitely poor” (Fr Dario Rodriguez scj)
- “Listen, keep going on. You will have bad thoughts even in old age” (Fr Ceferino Arce scj).

Just like an undeserved inheritance, I have often felt such wisdom changed into fraternity. I don’t mean to say that Betharram has been changed into a paradise. I am very familiar with the suffering of community life. But I can say that the Betharramite is kind and gentle, that he greets you every day and says “thank you very much”, who looks kindly on his brother, does not speak ill of him, speaks well of the one who governs the community (because he has a good opinion of himself and likes the job he has been given by obedience): he who has received everything from the community knows how to lead a simple life and choose certain austerities through love; he does not boast of his knowledge, his strength, his qualities, but calms his desires “like a little child in the arms of its mother” (cf. Psalm 130); he who prefers fraternal charity in which we have chosen to live.

This brother who will remain anonymous, is the great builder of that joy which I have experienced in my years at Betharram... The joy which God has served me on a silver tray together with the mate, terere and cafezinhos (drinks typical from South America). And the other one? The one who made life difficult for me, or the one I betrayed by my conduct? I rejoice in him also, for he represents the reality of the Incarnation, and was to be found also in the group of disciples with Jesus. As Father Joseph Mirande would say: “He’s one of us and that’s enough” (from a sermon).

Thank you, my difficult brother! Please forgive me for all the times I too was difficult. Perhaps the best remedy would be to be always content as St Michael encouraged us!

Gustavo Agín scj